High Achievers: Let’s Define what enough is for you
High achievers always need to do more, do better----to be better
On the surface high achievers’ lives look great. They are good at covering up insecurities and good image. They constantly run at 100% but when they don’t meet their self-imposed demands, their self esteem takes a nose dive, and they feel all their efforts are worthless .
As a high achiever, I know that this constant need for performance is a result of deep rooted perceived beliefs and coping behaviors while growing up for validation and self worth. For many high achievers, this shows up as the pursuit for professional and financial success. It is our ability to say “SEE? I am good enough”.
When we achieve what we want, we celebrate for a second and then shoot for the next big thing.
When we don’t have a task on hand, we inflict on ourselves an amount of stress and anxiety that is a slippery slope for achievement-mania and burnout.
And when we fail, we are confronted with our own feelings of inadequacy.
So, if we don't stop and define what is enough for ourselves, because truthfully how one person defines “enough” or "more than enough” or "not enough” is completely different from how the person next to them defines those things. If we don’t stop and define what is enough for ourselves, we can easily slip into the constant state of productivity, chasing, action taking and reaching for more-The conditioned self.
If we don’t define what is enough for us, we can easily slip into the hustling web, forever chasing the more which leads to frustration, anger, burnout, constant hunger and never really feeling or tasting the pleasure of this present moment or achievement.
From my own experience, I came to realize that breaking free from this achievement mania has to come from arriving at a conscious decision, that there is a lot at stake and the costs are really high. Also understanding that breaking free is a conscious process and systemic change takes time and asks us to start from the inside - out, ground - up. We cannot rush through this process as much as our achievement -obsessed selves will want to.
Here are few reflection prompts that you can start with to create your own antidote to achievement mania and start to instill a sustainable model of wellbeing and success:
What’s it like to feel enough now?
What allows me to feel /experience enough?
When do I decide I had enough ?
Where can I let myself take in and have what I already have?
What do I want that I already have?
What's it like to attach to less, so I can make space for more?
If I knew I were 100% enough, as I am , right now, what would I stop doing? What's the thing that I won't stop creating and wanting?
