So if you are feeling positive in this moment ?or wondering how a life coach or positive intelligence educator is challenging the concept of positivity, don't continue listening ....or perhaps you could invite some curiosity

For the rest ; who are trying to toughen up, bottle up your emotions, push aside or ignore your emotions just so you can belong to a culture that prizes for positivity or praised for being strong, then maybe this episode t is worth listening to

The conventional view of emotions as good or bad, positive or negative is limiting and keeps us stuck

How we deal with our emotions shapes everything that matters, our career, our patterns, actions, relationships and health

So really how we deal with our emotions drives everything.

Research now shows that the radical acceptance of all of our emotions -- even the messy, difficult ones -- is the cornerstone to resilience, thriving, true connection, and true authenticity and happiness.

We need more fluidity with our emotions for true thriving, belonging, and resilience.

I still get episodes or days where I get trapped in a cycle of emotional denials. I found myself actively trying to push aside my feelings of anger, grief, or sadness, by over-doing stuff, permitting only those emotions deemed legitimate. Sometimes food served as a great escape-companion, other times judging myself for having these kind of emotions , other times just redirecting and fleeing to a more pleasant places ..after all I am supposed to be an evolved person ..right?

hear me out

Normal emotions are seen as good or bad.

People with health issues asked to stay positive .

Women asked to stop being sensitive or dramatic or angry .

There is a wave of positivity . We continue doing it to ourselves. We do it to others.

Bottling up, toughening up, pushing them aside , are all false limiting responses. Research on emotional suppression shows that when emotions are pushed aside or ignored, they get stronger. They get louder , it is like this chocolate bar you're craving the more you try to ignore it ....you know what happens:)

It doesn’t work. It keeps us wrestling in the mud. It is not real. It is not sustainable.

You might think you're in control of unwanted emotions when you ignore them, but in fact they control you. Internal pain always comes out. we all pay for it including people around us.

Now, again

I'm not anti-positivity or happiness. I am a self leader and always look for light and happiness. I teach positive intelligence and also emotional intelligence. But when we push aside normal diverse emotions to embrace false positivity, we lose our potential for resilience, mental fitness, and to master skills to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be

Pema chodron; one of my favorite spiritual teacher quotes feelings as :

We have a choice to hear "The truth " that there is something going on that needs to be heard, that this emotion needs to be processed, released which would result to dissipate ,leaving us more centered. This release will always Propel us into higher awareness and more resilience.

So, what does this look like in real practice?

When you feel a strong, tough emotion, don't escape. Decide to stop , give yourself 10 min to practice being with what's coming up for you .
Instead, of saying I am sad, I am angry, notice the feeling for what it is: "I'm noticing that I'm feeling sad" or "I'm noticing that I'm feeling angry."
What is the emotion telling you? what do you really need now ?
Maybe you know maybe you don’t , just feel in your body. if nothing is clear, Don’t feed it by analyzing . Do not go into rationalizing, defending or arguing. Drop the story , stay present and observe . Some feelings maybe old , familiar , some are new, some feelings even if they are familiar are still strong and they invite us to process them so Notice the feeling in your body , feel into their space, take deep breath, and watch how slowly the feeling dissolves slowly on its own.
trust that the message will appear to you loud and clearly after you feel centered, the message and blessing would reveal and you'll know which action will bring you towards your values.

When we allow to tell the truth of our emotions; belonging , creativity and innovation flourishes .

True Positivity is to accept the diversity of our emotions and be with emotions with curiosity, compassion, and especially the courage to take steps that are aligned with our values, of who we truly are.

The myth of Positivity