We start to ride our old pattern of a victim-cycle
We switch to autopilot mode and push ourselves into more anxiety and tension
We feel that we are fighting a monster that just won’t go away
In our natural survival instinct in these moments is often to try harder-to fight harder—(at least that’s my reactive pattern) _ to play the tug-of war with our monster
You might feel like the monster is going to pull you into the pit and it will be “game over.” You also might think that if you could pull on the rope, just the right way, then you could pull the monster into the pit
As hard as you try, though, it just seems impossible to pull the monster into the pit. Every time you pull, the monster pulls with the same force. No matter how hard you pull, you don’t seem to even gain an inch in getting the monster closer to the cliff. You try coiling the rope around your hands and digging your feet into the ground better in order to try even harder to pull the monster into the pit, but it just doesn’t work
You feel stuck and drained
That's how it feels sometimes when you are “in it “
When you are in tug of war with your monster. The monster is a metaphor for the basic fact that problems exist in your life. It may represent depression, feelings of shame, unworthiness, physical pain, or anything else.
So, what do you do?
That’s right, you drop the rope!
If you let go of the rope, if you drop the attempt to play tug of war- once trying to push and bring the monster into the pit, and another time fearing that you would get into the pit, then guess what? When you drop the rope, the monster can now wander around freely and you learn to live with them and be with whatever experience you’re moving through the day
You remind yourself, that being “in it,” sometimes happens to humans
that being “in it” sometimes help you to move towards what makes you feel better
that "being "in it" may get you to a place where it really matters
